No. Not to YOU. I was talking about the Japanese movie Boku no Hatsukoi Kimi wo Sasagu, which translates to I give my first love to you.

I first saw the movie in about April/June/July-ish. I remember it was after a school day when all the clubs had to sell stuff to us, and we all went out of the school early to my friend's house to practice for our English aural test. We did practice, but basically we watched more tv than we did any practice. One of the movies we watched was this one.

I didn't get to finish watching it 'cause my mother came by then, but I did remember the title of the movie, because, well, it was eye-catching. Normally I have no interest in tear-jerking stories about romance and death, but then I dunno, this just sort of caught my interest. I didn't want it until today, and when I did, I didn't cry.

Huh. I was expecting I'd cry, actually, but I didn't. The front par of it was boring for me, actually, since it was just Takuma and Mayu (the main characters) in the hospital, but around the time they were in high school, I really got pulled in. The acting was great, and the story was lively, funny, even, and at the end, well, it was really sad. My friend bet me I'd cry, and I didn't *looks proud of herself* but in reality, I really felt for the characters. I mean, everything seems so innocent, with all the careful moments, and everything, but some would probably call it a cliche. I haven't watched enough of these to tell what qualifies as a cliche, but I have to say I enjoyed it.

Bored me + procrastinating me = watching movies.

And NOW I have to say I'm becoming addicted to instrumental songs. And Akiko Shikata. AKIKO SHIKATA. Oh, her voice is totally otherworldly. Go. Listen. To. It. Grrrr....

Meh. It's like I'm turning this into an art blog...

When I learnt that I won a bronze award in the Commonwealth Essay Competition, I couldn't help but feel disappointed. It's like what a friend of mine said, "Once you've achieved what you think is the best result, you'll want to achieve it again, and when you don't, you just think you're not worthy of it."

I find this to be true. Sometimes, I push at myself too hard until I mess everything up, like my most recent Geography test. It's going to literally determine my fate for next year's classes, and I think I've flunked it badly. Most of the time now I do anything to just distract myself from thinking depressing things and killing of my brain cells with anger. I run Windows Media Player and put a song on replay. Like... depressing music.

First, there was If I Die Young, and then Bring on the Wonder, and then No Envy, No Fear, and some others. Currently it happens to be Skully's She Moves Through The Fair.

One thing I noticed: people usually die in Irish folk songs.

There are a lot of things that can happen unexpectedly. Like there was once, when I was 9, my Maths teacher died. The substitute teacher was horrible, and I hated her deeply. I missed my Maths teacher, and... she gave me a lot of priceless things. Now I almost can't remember how her handwriting looks like. I mean, it's been years.

If I flunk that Geography test, and if my other subjects don't match up properly, I can safely say that my life is over.

Maybe not over over, but I'll have to drop out of the class I'm currently in. Funny how reluctant I was to enter that class, and now I don't want to leave it. I don't have many friends in the other classes, and I guess I'm just too much of a loner.

By the way, the post title is part of the lyrics for "She Moves Through The Fair."

Something about me that changed since last year was the fact that I've stopped drawing so much. Last year, due to the influence of a friend, I drew a lot during class (yes, when I should have been listening). I drew all sorts of things. Eyes, meaningless scribbles, book cover fan-art thingy, anime characters, dresses, landscapes. Pencil, watercolours, coloured pencils - I used anything I could get my hands on. Even marker pens and chalk.

This year, I felt I've grown a lot in art. I'm fiddling with Photoshop, and now I'm better at it. But recently I just drew something from my imagination that made me really proud.

I owe the title - Paloma - to a friend of mine. It's Spanish for "dove", and seeing this really does remind me of a bird. Ignore the etxt at the bottom. Somehow I just really like to add the title of the work in with Photoshop. Just... please tell me it looks like a leaf.

Maybe I'll post some of my other - probably pathetic - drawings up.

Now that's the Spain part. The Strain part, now...

Exams are coming.

Exams + unwillingness to study + Bones addiction + writing junkie = strain. (Hey! My Maths improved!)

Anyway, I discovered that drawing really calms me down. To see my hand move across the paper and the shapes slowly start to make sense - it's as good as rereading the favourite part of a book. I love seeing the images I dream up in my mind come on paper. But the problem is that I can only draw when I have that "drawy feeling". But recently, my friends have been bombarding me with requests to draw anime characters, hence the other strain...

Now I can't get the lyrics from If I Die Young out of my head. Wouldn't it be funny if I actually wrote those words out when I had to write an essay for the exam?

Then again, maybe not.

Yes. I'm talking about Wither by Lauren DeStefano.

It happens to be one of the most lyrical, poetic books I've read with an original storyline. Seriously, while I read it made my eyes wide. I finished it in a couple of hours (much to the dismay of my mother). She thinks I read faster than she has the time to take me to the bookstore (which is probably true).

The most interesting thing about the book - to me - was the fact that in the story, men lived to 25 and women to 20. You hear about viruses that kill you off in five days (watch Hong Kong historical dramas), or cancer that gives you a year left to live (read Ways to Live Forever by Sally Nicholls), but this is the first time I've heard something so different.

So I, like a bazillion other readers, am waiting (probably impatiently) for the next book, Fever. So... haha... I'm actually posting this incredible long-winded (but TRUE) post because of a giveaway hosted by Lauren DeStefano - a giveaway of proof jackets of Fever's cover. Needless to say, Wither has one of the best, most breathtaking covers I've ever seen. Evermore by Alyson Noel was another one with a stunning cover, but I think I like Wither more.

Read about the giveaway here.

Ah. I probably won't win. I'm just bored. Incredibly bored. And I happen to like books, so...

Yes. I can see no one follows my reasoning.

I do, actually. Don't mind me. I'm just quoting Dr Temperance Brennan from Bones. Currently I'm embarking on an overambitious quest to finish the entire TV show, and, by the way, the only TV series I've watched with genuine interest are Dollhouse, several Korean dramas and The Vampire Diaries. But I'm actually holding out pretty good this time. I'm up to season 4 already. Watch it. Really

Maybe a lot of people think I just like to read and write. That's not true, though. I'm a movie addict. Seriously. Though I'm very picky and weird about what I watch. And what I listen to, as well. Honestly, don't you think most of the teenagers nowadays watched movies (educational CDs) before they started learning how to read? I know I did that.

And who says I'm afraid of technology? I can Photoshop. I'm messing with vector graphics at the moment. I can format a memory card (which I just did). And I'm blogging (procrastinating).

Right. I should get to the point.

I watched Red Riding Hood recently, and, again, I don't understand the negative reviews. It was a great movie for me, although some of the music was too modern for my taste, but it was great nonetheless. If you like gothic movies and mystery and uh... whodunit... you should definitely give it a try. I'm not a fan of werewolves, but I was pulled in. The whole atmosphere of the movie was so intriguing and compelling - you'll understand when you see it.




See? Even the poster made me want to watch it (This is my favourite among all the ones released).

Yes. I know I'm weird. I have a weird taste in music as well.

Ah. Another song I'm nuts about - If I Die Young by The Band Perry. Read the lyrics. Honestly.

Gather up your tears, keep them in your pocket,
Save it for a time when you're really gonna need them.

Yeah. I should live by that rule... but then I'd need a waterproof pocket, wouldn't I?